Each one of us has a different reaction in various situation. Let’s talk about how to deal with ‘insults’ today. Have you ever been at the receiving end of an insult? That’s not a very pleasant thing, is it?
Let’s start by doing a bit of introspection; what do YOU do when you are insulted? Do you insult the person straight back? Or do you break down and cry? Or do you simply leave the place and avoid the person who has insulted you altogether? Alright, it is very clear that people who insult you are negative people, right?
Why do you think they actually insult you? There are three main reasons why someone would probably insult you. The first reason is insecurity. Now there are some people who are insecure. Simply since they don’t feel good about themselves, they feel the need to have a control over everything and they can only gain this need to control by bringing other people down. So, insecure people will always end up insulting you or make rude comments at you.
“No one is safe from slander. The best way is to pay no attention to it, but live in innocence and let the world talk.”
The second reason why someone would mock you or insult you is because they are jealous of you. That’s right! Jealousy is one of the most obvious motives for someone to mock you or ridicule you. People who are jealous feel that they are not getting enough credit for what they are doing and that is why they want to put you down. Say for an example, if you have a co-worker and your boss likes you better than him because of your efficiency, there are chances that your co-worker might end up making fun of the way you work, he might make fun of the way you have given your presentation. He’s just plain jealous of you and that’s why he is doing it.
The third reason why some people would insult you is because they don’t have a complete understanding of a person’s disability. A lot of times, people are not even aware of how their comments affect people because they don’t know that the person they are directing these comments to, actually have a genuine problem. For an instance, there is a kid at school who’s actually got speech difficulties. He probably stammers or stutters. He’s got a genuine problem however maybe his classmates don’t really get that. They don’t really understand that, so they might make fun of him without really understanding the implications.
“Teach self-denial and make its practice pleasure, and you can create for the world a destiny more sublime that ever issued from the brain of the wildest dreamer.”
The point behind really writing this blog is sharing my own learnings for they might help a lot of you. Let’s look at what do we actually do when someone insults us? Responding to an insult is much better than reacting to it. So, your immediate reaction should be calm. Yes, you heard that right. We know that the negative people try to ensure that they take control of the situation and what brings them satisfaction is your angry or hurt reaction. Right? The best thing to do is remain calm, understand that you are not the only one they are playing their tricks with and something which is really important to realize is that you cannot change their nature, no matter what. This doesn’t mean that you stay silent and let them do this anytime they want to. You have to get the message conveyed to them but remember, not in their language because it’s not you. In fact, I believe that conveying this message makes sense in the professional environment – for example, the problem which we discussed about the co-worker, in this case it is very important to convey a strong message to avoid such incidents in future. Remember, no one will mess with you if you really don’t want to take it. Now in contrast to this, ignoring an insult is sometimes the wisest and the best thing to do. You can ignore an insult simply because you want to ensure that the person who has insulted you should not feel that they’ve affected you in any way. So, when you actually ignore the insult, you’re telling the person, look I’m not affected by it. Okay now you would say it’s not easy to ignore an insult. Yes, true. But you can ignore an insult by changing the topic of the conversation and talking about something entirely unrelated or you could just walk away from the place.
The next thing you need to know is that you have to sometimes report insults. Now let me tell you if insults are based on gender, physical appearance, sexuality, religion or disability, it is against the law. The person who is actually doing that is not doing a very lawful thing and it is your right as the victim to actually report these kinds of acts. Now at school or at work, you have anti-harassment departments which actually would listen to your plight and would do the right thing in order to ensure that you don’t have to face the insults ever again. You will always find people who will try to bring you down but it’s up to you, to actually stay strong and calm and let them down.
“Choose not to be harmed – and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed – and you haven’t been.” – Marcus Aurelius